Things I’ll never say because I’m not sure I mean them

I don’t know what I was expecting, when I laid down my body for you to have. I was naive to think that you could only ever crave the taste of my lips. To think you would fall in love with the rise and fall of my chest when I sleep, to actually love me so much that you can’t think about being with anyone else. I thought I could change you, I thought that maybe I was more than just a body, moans, and clothes on the floor. I dream of kids and Palo alto, and you want excitement and some city in Switzerland. I can’t make you want that, I can’t make you want long term or monotony. You don’t want to be a surgeons wife, you want to marry the fun one, and I’m just waiting for you to realize it. Realize I’m not the girl you made out with last month, or the one you’ll make out with next month. I’ll be your prom date, someone to hold and love, the one to buy you flowers, and show you off to all her friends, but I’m not the girl you fall into bed with tomorrow night. And I know this but I’m still wearing the jeans you love so much on me, in case you want to take them off.

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