An open letter to the girl who owns my heart

An open letter to the girl who owns my heart,
I am always going to think you want someone else, I’ve watched my father leave for his lover one too many times to believe that someone can only want one person. My body will shrink away from your eyes and fingertips; I have seen my mother sell her body for less than free to still watch the hungry eyes of men follow me as they walk out the door. I’m sorry that I get addicted to things (you) so easily, I guess the alcoholic that birthed me left pieces of herself inside my veins. I know that one day I will lie next to you and you will want to make love, but I have a demon of a memory that doesn’t understand what convenience is and I can’t risk tainting something so beautiful with something so evil. I’m just a ticking time bomb locked inside of a girl who has more flaws than you have reasons to stay. I promise there is a heart of gold in me that wants to love you, trust you, and freely give itself to you, but I can’t help but to hesitate. I know you say the past is the past but pretty girl it’s not. The past is a monster that haunts my bones for more hours sometimes than not and I will try to act like the girl you want to fall in love with, for you only deserve the best, but my cover may slip, so please love that me too. Please love me when im mad for no reason, please remind me that you love the curve of my hips that i hate so much, tell me that you don’t mind that i text you all day because my mind doesn’t know how to quit thinking and you think my random facts and complete narrative of what the lady in line in front of me bought is cute. Love that me, the one that no one else does, the one i won’t show anyone else. Cherish me because i forget that i even exists most days, im always covered up by too high expectations. I’m hard to handle sometimes, and I’m needy. I can’t say half of this shit to your face but if you ask me how much I love you, I am going to say I love you mostest. There is no debating that, because even with every flaw and scar and monster in my body, my heart still beats for you.
Yours truly, Amber.



She kisses you in the rain, and you think it will last forever.
You know the devil is real, he isn’t red with pointy horns,
he hides in the most beautiful of people
and you are sure she is the prettiest thing to ever grace this earth.
But you kiss her like this is the last time you will ever sin so you make it worth it.
The fire she starts in you will be the only thing that keeps you alive when she leaves.

Every last atom

I just want to grab her and kiss her with every last atom in my body but I cant get that out of my mouth. I can’t physically say any of this. Is it bad all I want to do is to make love to her? To not think for a while but get to see her and feel her and just have some raw emotion I don’t need to comprehend or think about? I need that and I don’t know how to ask for it. I’m dying and all I can do is replay the memory of us lying in bed together over and over. I feel like someone has cracked my chest open and every single emotion known to man is pouring out. I can’t stop it.


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You’re my love poem

Your alarm clock goes off at 6 am every Monday through Friday
and every Monday through Friday I will groggily reach over
you to turn it off. You’ll mumble something about how you’re
sick of waking up with my chest in your face, and I’ll make
some inappropriate comment back, because that’s just how we work.
You will bury your face back into the pillow and I’ll get up,
throw on your old beat up North Face jacket, and for half a second,
I’ll consider calling us both in sick.

You’re just a love poem that I’ll never get right, but I’ll never stop trying to write.

Gummy Bears

Poet in the Streets

Bury my soul deep inside you

Deprive me of love


This is how everything goes

Your words reek of movies and

Love messages written in languages I have yet to translate

And then,

You kiss me

My lips, my cheeks

Down to my ever thinning collar bone

I can hear your head

Screaming the question

Do you love me?

I push astray because I know this isn’t right


I’ll connect until I done with my using of your skin

I take your body heat

But nothing more or less

My hopeless dreams of love fill your heart

Pump through your veins

like a stale lullaby mother’s sing to their children

you always like love songs

I never quite understood them

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